On Having Nothing to Say

Alicia Bock Photography

Do you ever feel like you don't have anything important to say? Do you ever feel like every word that falls out of your mouth or scribbled across a page is just noise? I've felt that. I'm currently feeling it, a little bit.

I just feel like we're surrounded by meaningless chatter and hurtful prose. I don't want to be a part of that. I want to lift others up with my words. Not only do I wish to entertain people and make them smile a bit, I also want to encourage and strengthen and love with my vocabulary. I want to inform people of injustices being performed and promote causes that I love. Is that too much to ask of myself?

Sometimes it feels that way.

What are your thoughts? What do you think the role of the modern writer, blogger, journalist, newscaster should play? I am so interested to know your opinion!

Making Comparisons

clementseye

Last week, I raved about how I started taking a ballet class again. I was so proud of myself and I was under the illusion that I wouldn't succumb to the negative thinking that I was so prone to in high school. You know, the "I'm horrible, That girl is so much better than me, I look like a fat cow" kind of thinking. I thought I had outgrown it.

Well, I hadn't.

I walked into the class confident, but left wanting to cry. I realized I'm not as flexible as I was two years ago, and my balance isn't what it used to be. My feet wouldn't turn out like they should, and I didn't look like the graceful swan I felt like last week.

What really made things worse, though, was that a bendy-straw fifteen year old decided to stand in front of me. She was good. Like, really good. Clearly she dances a lot and the teacher pointed it out several times. (And I thought I was past seeking a dance teacher's approval.) Instead of enjoying myself, I jealously made dagger eyes at Miss Twist-Tie.

I left the Y wondering if I should even go back to ballet next week. (Yes, sometimes I have Drama Queen tendencies.) It wasn't until later on, when I was reminded of something my dear friend Ali told me several years ago, that I realized I was being a tad whiney.

 She said she once heard a quote by Theodore Roosevelt who said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." If I want to be unhappy, all I have to do is start comparing myself to people. Somebody will always be better at something than me. I'm always going to think someone is prettier, or kinder, or smarter. And, you know what? That's not how we're meant to live!

Now, I'm not saying we should march around with our chests puffed out exclaiming, "I'm the best at everything!" But I guess I'm saying that we should learn to cut ourselves a break every once in a while. Yeah, tiny ballerina girl was better than me. So what? Am I going to let that prevent me from enjoying myself? I'm praying that next Monday I won't.

Do you ever find yourself making comparisons to the people around you? How do you stop, or prevent it from getting you down?

Love, Alli

Unrealistic Wishes

lucy snowe photography

If money was no object, if I could teleport, if I already possessed all the skills required for these adventures, if I could bring all of my loved ones everywhere, and a million other unrealistic ifs, then these are the things I would do:

- Open a coffee shop called Spoonful of Sugar
- Open a bed and breakfast in downtown Raleigh and Beaufort (North Carolina, of course)
- Take a three year tour of Europe
- Own a lamb friend
- Also own a fox friend who would be best friends with my lamb friend
- Write only one novel that becomes a timeless masterpiece and is studied in schools for years after (Like Harper Lee)
- Live in Greece, but bring Eastern NC BBQ with me
- Also live in Cinderella's Castle at Disney World
- Win a Food Network Cake Challenge
- Produce an academy award winning film based on my life**
- Perform in a starring role on Broadway without having to live in New York
- Fearlessly ride a bike everywhere
- Master all water sports and snowboarding
- Invent something trifle that changes everything, like Sticky Notes
- Learn web design magic and take pictures like a champ
- Bring the hoop skirt back into fashion

What are some of your unrealistic wishes? I'd love to know!

Love, Alli


**Not that I think my life is deserving of a film, I'd just like to see Taylor Swift and Blake Lively fight over who gets to play me.

The Strong One

The Strong One from Josh Bielick on Vimeo.

Our freshman year, Mollie and I just happened upon a poetry reading hosted by Windhover,  NC State's award winning literary magazine. We sat, marveled at the boldness of all who read their poetry for everyone to hear, and politely clapped as each poet walked away from the podium.

Though no lyric or stanza had yet moved us to tears, we were content to be around like minded people and finally not feel like the odd man out at our engineering-loving school. That was, until, Tim Reavis stepped on the floor. He read us his poem about his dinosaur best friend and Mollie and I left speechless.

Afterwards, when Mollie and I talked about that night, we said everyone was good, but that dinosaur guy was awesome. He was just awesome.

Josh Bielick made a video based on Reavis's poem. I hope you like it. Now go ride your best dinosaur and "remember who the strong one is."

Love, Alli

Waiting

life through the lens

Currently, I'm in a state of waiting.

I'm waiting for a new job, I'm waiting to become a wife, I'm waiting for artistic genius to strike my soul, and I'm waiting to find out that I'm actually related to some monarch of a small foreign country and am next in line to the throne. (Unfortunately, that last one is more an outlandish fantasy that was inspired by The Princess Diaries and has been shyly growing in anticipation since middle school. A girl can dream, though, right? It could, maybe, happen!)

The worst part about waiting, though, isn't the actual waiting. I'm a patient person. I can be on hold for an hour and still happily sing along to the dreadful mall music coming through my telephone.  No, I'm fine with waiting. It's the uncertainty that comes along with it.

While waiting, all these horrible questions begin to pop up. I wonder if I'll like that new job and if I'll be a good wife and if I'll ever want to sit down and write a short story again. What if these things I've been waiting for don't meet my expectations? What if, once these beautiful things are finally given to me, I screw up or don't appreciate them properly or ten million other awful things I could think up?

After several minutes of severe panic and depression, however, I stop myself. What good could come of this worrying? Though I like to pretend I'm in control of everything, I'm not. Worrying won't change this.

Even though nobody really likes to be in a state of waiting, I'm learning that it's the perfect time to prepare. Though the real joy comes after the baby is born, pregnancy is the perfect time to read those parenting books. Though welcoming your daughter home after a summer away is what you long for, you can bake her favorite cake and fill her room with balloons while she's gone.

As I'm saying this, though, I don't want to lull myself into a false sense of security. I can't prepare for everything. I just can't!  I'm not urging preparation because then nothing will go wrong, I'm just saying that it's a far better alternative to lying in bed wondering if the sun will even rise in the morning.

It's also comforting to remember that this is just a season. One day the waiting will be over and the things I desire will be knocking at my door. Currently these things seem lightyears away, but I know that, in their own time, they will come.

How do you keep calm in a state of waiting? What's your advice?

Love, Alli

Loving and Diligence

A Bursting Smile

It's a new year, and similar to the BFF Alli, I too find myself falling into that "new year rut." Even though I've already established my unofficial New Year's Resolution, it's hard to remember that we are made new by the Creator, and not by our own efforts to be better. This is a relief to me, but I also know we are called to be diligent, to work toward the Kingdom, to make life's little moments count and to do all for the glory of God. Even when we fail, we know that we are being sanctified, being made one degree of glory to the next in His image! What hope we have in Christ! I'm trying to remember that it all counts; I am given each breath to praise Him for what He's done, and for the many blessings I've received. To learn more about thankfulness and the language of gratitude, I highly recommend getting to know this woman's heart.

So when I find myself feeling the weight of the new year, I take a look at what He's laying before me, and celebrate the little things. Two most important on my mind:


My Home
working part-time has been hard for me. I've found myself feeling lazy or guilty when I don't do everything perfectly. But a friend recently encouraged me by reminding me that I am in a new chapter of my life, it's okay to give yourself a break. I'm learning how to be a wife, how to live as a college grad, how to live with other things going on that make relationships really difficult. I'm figuring out who I am all over again. And thankfully, I have friends who point me to Christ to do that. Now that I decided to go into this new year without being hard on myself for things out of my control, I'm more excited about tackling the little things. I'm excited about planning meals better, saving better, being a supportive wife, friend, daughter, sister, and Christian. I'm excited that my home is becoming a place where I feel encouraged, inspired, and loved.


My New Discovery
I never thought I would say this, but I've discovered a new desire and I'm really excited about what the future holds. Being a lover of literature, I always assumed I wanted to be an editor of sorts. Even when I had some semi-important doors opening among a prestigious literary magazine, I became apathetic. I wasn't feeling passionate about the work; and to be quite honest with you, I became increasingly disheartened by those around me who so clearly loved that world much more than I think I ever could. I didn't feel like I was enough. It wasn't for me, and it really shocks me to say that.

Around Christmas break (I know.. talk about NEW discovery) I had a thought and this thought grew into an intrigue, and this intrigue grew into a "what if" and this what if grew into a "do I want this" and that "do I want this" turned into a desire... For the next few months, I am applying to get my masters in Library and Information Sciences to become a Children's Librarian. I've been researching and praying, and to be honest with you, I don't know if this desire will turn into a reality. I am applying to an online program for when I move to Houston in June, but the thought of it is thrilling. I am only applying to one program as of right now, so if the Lord wants it, it will happen. If He doesn't, it's not the right time or the right path for me. I've been encouraged by several amazing librarians.. especially Sarah. I'm so excited to start volunteering at Wiley Elementary School and the Cameron Village Library. I'm taking each small hurdle of this application and learning process one day at a time, and I'm loving it.

Join me when the going gets tough. What small hurdles are you making, and are you letting yourself enjoy those hard but rewarding moments this new year? Are you making it count? It's not easy friends and I am constantly failing at this, but you can be sure of this: He is the potter - the Creator. And we are pliable in His hands!

Love, Mollie

2011

Hairbrained Schemes

Though greeting a new year is always exciting, I'm always sad to say goodbye to the old year. By the end of December we've become good friends, the old year and I. We know one another. There's been good times and bad, but we've gotten through it together. I'm familiar with the year, and he's familiar with me. No longer writing 2011 in my journal is just a tangible confirmation that the good memories the year and I shared are merely memories.  Here are some of my favorites.


*Visiting our Nation's Capital - There's nothing like a good girls' road trip. I will forever stand by that statement. I loved celebrating the birth of my dear, sweet friend Robyn and exploring the famous spots of DC. I ate the best cupcake I have ever tasted and I saw Dorothy's ruby slippers. I walked where some of the most intelligent men and women of our country work and I was able to silently thank those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.


* Saying hi to Mickey Mouse - If you didn't already know, I'm a little obsessed with all things Disney. This character trait developed because I come from a family of Disney lovers.  We've been going to Disney World just about every other summer since I can remember. So, what better way to celebrate our last family vacation as just the four of us with a trip to Disney? We had an amazing time running through the parks, remembering old times, creating new memories, and planning for future trips. I rode Space Mountain, like, eight times.

* Graduating from the best university in the world - Though I would have loved to live the college life forever, I knew the day where I would have to leave NC State behind would eventually come. Though the forecast called for rain, it was a beautiful, sunny day. I graduated from the English Department in the afternoon and I got to watch my big bro be "robed" at his graduation from Duke University's Seminary. I never thought my diploma would bring me as much pride as it does.

* Witnessing 3 of my dear friends' wedding days - Though baking their wedding cakes may have been one of the more challenging tasks of my new adulthood, being a part of each of these brilliant womens' weddings in this way was a high honor. Standing next to Mollie as she said her vows, and seeing the joy on her sweet man's face is something I will never forget. I thank you, friends, for allowing me to play a part on your day. Candace, Andrea, Mollie, you're beautiful.

* Finding a mother of the bride dress - While my mom and I are still on the hunt for the perfect dress for her, the day we went searching in Raleigh is one of my all time favorite memories. We've gone shopping before, but this was different. We talked about everything under the sun. We laughed when she tried on ridiculous outfits and stealthily snuck out when we realized everything in the store was insanely over our price range. I have an amazing mom.

* Scheming with Mollie - Though our dreams of becoming freelancers may not have come into fruition, I will always treasure the time Mollie and I brainstormed for our business. We sat in our favorite coffee shop on our favorite couch and talked about the future as if it was ours for the taking. Sometimes the realization that we weren't successful is a bitter pill to take, but then I remember our dreamings. Everything is still possible. This isn't the end of the road for us.

* Prince Charming's proposal - Cheesy? Sappy? Maybe. But, really, how horrible of a person would I be if my top memory wasn't Cameron and his promise? Dinner was completely silent. All we could do was stare and shyly smile at one another. We both knew what was coming next. We both were nervous, and we were both about to burst at the seams. He cried as he pulled out the ring while Simon and Garfunkel sang sweetly in the background. The sea breeze blew through my hair, lights shimmered on the deck, and I kissed the man I will spend the rest of my life with.

Happy Old Year

Love, Alli 

Resolutions

wants & wishes

I used to be one of those people that didn't believe in new year's resolutions. What was the point? Nobody ever really stuck to them. In the end I'd just stop going to the gym, feel guilty about it, and sit on my couch for the next hour and a half eating ice cream. Totally counter-productive, if you ask me.

I thought new year's resolutions were stupid. Why did a person need to set goals for themselves? Why can't a person just take a day at a time and see what was thrown at them? What's wrong with spontaneity? Goals aren't very spontaneous. (This was during a time in my life when I tried to be a "free spirit." It didn't work out as I'm afraid of spontaneity.)

Now, I'm starting to rethink this whole clean slate thing. A new year means new beginnings. Why not try something different? So, this year, for my first different item on the agenda, I'm going to actually make myself a couple of resolutions.

1. Read, at the very least, two books per month

2. Start exercising. No, but really, start exercising!

3. Cook for myself more. Eat more fruits and veggies

4. Write everyday, no matter how I feel about it

5. Make new year's resolutions (check)

Will I actually complete these tasks? Who knows; who cares? It's time for me to start working towards something. Yes, that something may be eating one less donut and one more apple, but it's a start. And look, I've already accomplished one of them.

What are some of your resolutions? Do you have any tricks to stick with them?

Happy New Year

Love, Alli

The Aftermath

hena tayeb photography

When I was little, I'd wake up on December 26th with a groan. There were now 365 days until next Christmas! What a horrible trick. All the joy and anticipation that had been building up for weeks was gone. What was it for?

Now, the days after Christmas just feel odd. Stores have sported their Christmas finery since before Halloween and, suddenly, all the decorations have disappeared. Every ad on TV and billboard was speckled with snowflakes and holly leaves. Commercials are now back to what they once were. The multitudes participated in shopping frenzies and roads were packed. Though traffic is still heavy, cars no longer have "Christ is the Reason for the Season" stickers pasted on their bumpers or felt antlers sticking out of their windows and a red ball tied to their grill. Christmas trees line neighbors' yards and that one person with a wreath still on their door gets weird looks.

Did Christmas even happen?

Now that we have our new gadgets we're content to go back to normal life. We've finally acquired the things we'd been drooling over for months and we're ready to settle back into our routines. We get up, go to work, come home, eat and sleep. The excitement of waiting for something to happen, something bigger than ourselves, is gone.

Why is that, though? We celebrated the coming of Jesus. He is still here.  Just because the 25th has passed doesn't mean we need to stop the festivities. Now, I don't mean we should keep our Christmas lights up all year long; but, why don't we hold onto some of that extra peace and good-will towards men we all seem to have around the holidays? Why don't we keep baking our friends cupcakes? Why don't we continue to donate our time and money to charities? Why don't we continue to anxiously await the arrival of our Savior? What would that even look like?

Love, Alli

Light of the World

Spooky Action

My family has many Christmas traditions I cherish and think upon with a soft smile and a far away look. The day after Thanksgiving, the four of us would go to the Boy Scout Tree Lot and pick a tall, skinny, but full, evergreen. We'd let it soak outside in a bucket for a couple of hours, heat up the leftovers, and then bring in the tree and decorate it while we munched on turkey sandwiches and watched A Christmas Story. When done, we'd sit around the tree drinking hot tea and bask in the soft glow of the twinkling lights. We'd point out which ornaments were our favorites and recall that time we made the ice cream cone in third grade and the hand angel in the first.

My mom and I would bake coconut cakes to give to our neighbors for Christmas. It was just a recipe we found on Food Network, but it became our special recipe. The kitchen would smell of sweet coconut flakes and rich frosting. We'd pick holly branches from our tree outside and wrap the ends with tin foil and stick it in the cakes. My mom knew how to arrange it beautifully. She told me to be very careful for holly berries were poisonous. I'd worry and wonder why we'd place such a dangerous decoration on our gifts, but the finished product calmed my nerves. The dark green leaves with the bright red berries against the snowy cake always produced audible sighs from our loved ones.

My favorite memories, however, are of the Christmas Eve services when I was in elementary school. My mom, dad, brother, and I would dress in our finest red and green outfits and drive downtown to our family church. The sanctuary was always full of excited parishioners and chrismons ornaments hung heavy on the boughs of the large tree at the front of the church. The crowd grew silent as the Christmas story was read but burst through the rafters with the joyous tunes of "Joy to the World" and "Hark the Herald Angels Sing".

Suddenly, the sanctuary would grow dark. Candles were passed out and the organ would play as one person passed their flame to another. Anticipation rose inside of me as I waited for my candle to be lit. The congregation would sing "O Holy Night" softly. It was as if they were scared they'd extinguish their candle if they sang too loudly. Finally my candle would be lit and I'd look around the room. Tiny pinpricks of light surrounded me and I'd fall silent and listen to my mom and dad sing. At the end of the song we were told that though we had to extinguish our candle it didn't mean that the light went out. We were meant to carry that  light into the world. It was a reminder that Jesus was with us. We didn't leave him in the church as soon as we stepped out the doors.

My brother used to help lead the youth group I attended in high school. Sometimes we'd gather in his house, and whenever we did so, he'd light a candle. He said it was to remind us that God was with us, Emmanuel. The flame wasn't some sort of voo-doo magic that called upon Him, for he was already there. He was in the room, with us, hearing our prayers and watching over us.

Sometimes it's hard for me to remember that. Many times I feel as if I'm talking to a wall. This couldn't be farther from the truth. I love Christmas because there are candles everywhere. In the windows of people's homes, on the advent wreaths of our dinner tables, and in luminaries along our neighbors' driveways. Their flickering lights remind me that not only did our Lord come to live among us when He was born in that Bethlehem stall, but He is still with us. We are loved.

Merry Christmas

Love, Alli

A Conspiracy

Tina Crespo

This year, Christmas decorations were up in our mall by October 15th. The grocery store I frequent had them up by early November. Don't get me wrong, I love evergreen wreaths and brightly colored lights as much as the next girl. However, this was just too early. I was frustrated and it was for two reasons.

One, Thanksgiving might just be my favorite holiday and I don't like to see it pushed to the background. Turkey Day is about food, family, and being thankful. I enjoy the fact that there's no pressure to buy presents for friends and family. I mean, I'm horrible at giving presents. Don't believe me? I gave my fiance his Christmas present last year in February. February!

Two, what is it we're really celebrating? Are we putting our Christmas decorations up so early because we're just that excited to celebrate our Savior's decision to live with us and eventually die for us? Unfortunately, I don't think so. I think companies brilliantly realize that most of us have a desire to revert back to childhood and spend time with our loved ones. Christmas is the perfect time to take advantage of these emotions as nostalgia is hiding around all corners with every ornament brought down from the attic and each snickerdoodle baking in the oven. Christmas songs don't help either. Every one is about longing to go home for the holidays, but not being able to. How sad is that? One moment I'll be merrily singing along to "Jingle Bells" in my car and sobbing along with "I'll be Home for Christmas" the next.

Sparkling snowflakes hanging in our favorite store's window says, "Hey, I know you're sad you're not snuggling with your mom right now and watching Mary Poppins. So, come in and buy a nice cashmere sweater for her. It'll make everything better." And you know what? I've believed it!

This Thanksgiving I was cleaning out my room in my parent's house, trying get rid of things I don't need anymore. I was appalled at how junk much I had! I never used half of that stuff and I should have given it away years ago. Instead, it just sat in my room. Then, I started thinking about the quickly approaching December 25th and the useless gifts I would soon purchase for my friends and family. I feel like I never give them anything they really need and pretty soon it'll just be sitting in their rooms too. I still feel obligated to buy them something, though, because that's what you do for the people you love, right?

On Black Friday, one of my friends tweeted something about The Advent Conspiracy. She linked to a video and, being curious, I watched it. Basically, it summed up all my feelings about this holiday season and put them into words for me.

How do you feel about it? Would you substitute a store bought gift for quality time or a handmade creation? Would you consider giving your extra money away to charity? I want to know what you think.

Love, Alli

Trusting

a place for twiggs

As we grow older, Christmas becomes less magical. The holiday can actually become a sad day where loved ones who are gone are missed or opportunities wasted are remembered or hurtful words are said. Why even celebrate Christmas and how do we prepare for it in the preceding days? Decking the halls and baking cookies for a large guy in red isn't enough anymore.

Church this past Sunday began with, "Today we're going to talk about the virgin birth." I looked around with raised eyebrows and thought, "Really?" and slumped down in my chair, preparing for a light sermon.

However, I was startled with a quote given by Larry King. In an interview, when Larry King was asked who was the one person throughout history he'd like to interview he responded with Jesus. When prompted to share what he'd ask Jesus, Mr. King responded that he wanted to know whether or not the virgin birth actually happened. This was because all of Christianity and all of history, for that matter, hinges heavily on the answer to that question.

I'd never thought about it before, but Mr. King was right.

It's not the literal question, "Did the virgin birth happen?" that makes the difference, though. It's the far larger question lying underneath that changes hearts. Can God really do anything?

As a Christian, I quickly respond with a yes. Of course God can do anything. He's God! Do I honestly believe that, though? Do I live my life with that as my mantra? Unfortunately, it doesn't look that way.

I am hoping that advent will now become a season of trust. When counting down the days to December 25th, I want to spend more time knowing that He has a plan and everything will unfold properly in His time. I want to spend less time worrying about photographers for the wedding and my job and everything that goes along with that.

He withholds no good thing. He gave us His son.

If you think about it, this whole, "God can do anything" brings the magic back to Christmas. We can be joyful again. What's more special than our Lord and savior coming to earth so He could save us from our sin? I can't think of anything.

So, go celebrate! You are loved and the One who saved you is looking out for you. You can trust that He's got it all figured out.

Yeah, it is hard. Don't worry, I'm still trying to learn how to do it too.

Love, Alli

My Absence

slightclutter

I'm having a blogging identity crisis.

I started out on a high note. I felt good about myself. I was writing! It didn't really matter what I was saying. The point was that I was saying something.

That initial joy quickly faded. What was I saying and who was I saying it to? I was saying nothing to nobody.** My biggest fear of the blogging world became truth. I was just another faceless keyboard linking you to my favorite products on Etsy and vaguely asking how your Tuesdays went. What a waste of my time. What a waste of your time!

I never wanted Waking on the Wing to become my personal venting journal where I dish about all my friends and how I'm mad that they didn't make me personalized birthday cards with my favorite nicknames in glittered letters (insert pouty face); however, the last thing I wanted it to become was a reproduction of the zillions of things already on the world wide web.

So, where is that fine line between airing dirty laundry and a link list? I don't know. I want to figure it out, though.

This past month I've contemplated canning Waking on the Wing. I didn't really know what purpose I wanted it to serve, and, rather embarrass myself anymore, I wanted to remove it from public eyes. Did I really talk about the "nautical look"?

However, I love writing. I love it! I received a BA in English and I want to use it, dang it! Currently this blog is my only outlet to do so and I want to honor that. I want to continue to practice my craft and I want to do it well.

What is writing if it's not honest? What is writing if it doesn't magnify a part of our seemingly normal lives so we can sit back and say, "That is a beautiful rose petal." We need writing to slow ourselves down, to remember we have emotions, and to remember we live in a community of people that also cry at the end of The Graduate.

I'll try to do that from now on. I'll mess up every once in a while, mind you. I know one day I'll be tempted to post about an Anthropologie dress I must have. But hey, I'm human! Besides, not every conversation can revolve around Niche's "super man" or Virginia Woolf's use of color in her novels and its reflection on femininity. I'd go crazy.

So, here it is. Waking on the Wing, Round 2. I hope you enjoy.

Love, Alli


**Note: If you're reading this, you're not a nobody. In fact, I greatly appreciate you! You're one of the fine few who I value as my readership. Basically, you're the bomb and I write for you. So, thank you.

Fall Leaves

There is something about fall that inspires a contemplative spirit - I'm convinced. Everything tends to grow quiet out there, and everywhere you look is beautiful. I walked with some good friends from my church yesterday around Lake Johnson and every tree looked different.

A wonderful writer said something wise about fall leaves that really translates to other areas of my life: beauty comes when light hits darkness. Now I know that when hard or dark times come about, that's when beauty and strength catch fire.

Love, Mollie

Three Great things about fall:

                                                              1. tea in my kitty cup

                                                              

2. crunching acorns

3. Praising God for simple, silly things

Portraits by Helen Joy

There's Chickens in the Backyard

Katie Lloyd Photo

For a while now, I've dreamed of having chickens in my backyard. Of course, this dream can't come into fruition until I actually own my own home. Who knows when that will actually be, but it's still fun to envision little birds walking and bobbing their heads around my yard.

But, what is it actually like to have chickens in the backyard? Well, Kristina of Lovely Morning wrote a very interesting and informative post on this matter. It looks like there are a lot of cons to having chickens, but Kristina says that the pros definitely outweigh them.

I feel like if the author of Lovely Morning can successfully raise chickens in her small LA backyard, then anybody can be successful in raising chickens. Thanks, Kristina!

Would you ever consider raising chickens? If you already do, what is it like? Has your experience been similar to Kristina's?

Love, Alli

It is Monday.

The Light Fantastic

Hi friends! How has your Monday been going? Wasn't it weird waking up to a brightly lit sky? Though I enjoyed the extra hour of sleep on Sunday, I'm not too sure how I feel about the sun waking me up again. I'm sure we'll become friends soon again, though.

You want to know what's fun? Tasting food for a reception! Cameron, my parents, and I were able to do just that this past Saturday and it was one of the most wonderful, memorable experiences.  Not only did we leave with delightfully full bellies, but now we are able to look forward to what our lovely guests will experience this coming June! I can't wait.

What were you up to this weekend? Did you do anything exciting or did you find some quiet relaxation time?

Love, Alli

My Strange Relationship with Birthdays

Photography By Anita

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm not too fond of birthdays. Weird, right? A birthday is the one day every year where your friends and family make a big deal about you and tell you how thankful they are for you. You also get presents. Who doesn't love a good present?!

Despite all of these great things, I've cried on my birthday every year since I was sixteen. The fact that I was old enough to receive my license and possess the ability to drive a car anywhere I wanted, whenever I wanted, was too much for me. To me, this new freedom meant I was no longer a little girl. I had to now sit in the drivers seat and could no longer snuggle on my mother's lap while watching Winnie the Pooh.

But it's not just the getting older or loosing my sweet, naive childhood that I dread. I understand 23 is still extremely young, and the Grim Reaper isn't standing on my doorstep. I know there are many things I have yet to experience and many things I still don't understand.  What bothers me most, actually, is the self-reflection that I feel is required on a birthday.

What did I do with this past year of my life? Did I waste it? How many times did I say and do things I shouldn't have? How many times did I hurt friends and family members? How many opportunities to share the love of Christ did I let slip by?

The Light Fantastic

As you can see, my self reflection quickly turns into self pity, harping on every bad thing I did within the past year. My tendency to be overly nostalgic amplifies these feelings as my inner psyche likes to scream, "The earlier years were so much better!" Those are hardly the ingredients for a happy birthday.

However, I'm learning more and more that these are lies. Yes, I'm 100% sure there are times I screwed up in the past year. I did things I wish I hadn't. Wallowing in the mistakes I made won't fix them, though. Thinking that life was better way back when is an insult to my all friends and family.

So, my question now is, "What the heck am I doing?" These muddled self reflections of the past help no one. Tomorrow I will strive to look forward to the future instead of dismally wishing I had done things differently. There is so much to look forward to! Fun weekend trips are planned, time with my dear family will be spent, and I'm getting married, for goodness sake!

Once I turn 23 tomorrow I'll still be human. I'll eventually make a mistake. So what? So does every single person living on this earth. That's what we do. We mess things up. I am learning, however, that it's our reaction to these mistakes and our hope for the future that gets us through the day. Our self-imposed wallowing will never solve anything.

Love, Alli

Happy November!

Golden Section

Well friends, November is finally here. Can you believe it? This year has flown by.  It seems like I was just making New Years Resolutions yesterday!

November is a bittersweet month for me.  It not only contains my second favorite holiday, Thanksgiving, but it's also my birth month. So why is it so bittersweet? I actually hate birthdays. I've cried on every one since I turned sixteen. This fear of growing old deserves its own post (which I will be sure to share later), but, in a nutshell, my nostalgic personality simply has me yearning for the past instead of looking joyfully into the future.

However, I've decided I'm going to try to make the most of this month. I'll eat Italian food with my handsome fiance and try to only cry a little bit on November 4th, and then anxiously look forward to turkey, sweet potato muffins, and the Thanksgiving Day parade.

What does November hold for you?

Love, Alli

Have A Lovely Weekend

irenesuchocki

Happy Friday, friends! Unfortunately I'm still feeling a little under the weather, so this weekend will mostly consist of more hot tea and old movies.  I'm hoping that I'll feel better by Sunday, though, so I can head to the fair with some of my friends!

What are your weekend plans?

Love, Alli

The State Fair

irenesuchocki

Today begins something I look forward to all year long, the North Carolina State Fair!  From the food, to the rides, to twinkling lights, to the general atmosphere, I can't get enough.

The first time I went to the state fair was when I was a freshman at NC State.  At first, I was amazed, and a little disturbed, at just how many different things could be fried and that people would pay to sit on a ride that is portable.  However, ten minutes later I was snacking on a fried Oreo and anxiously standing in line to ride the zipper.  I was hooked.

I love to look at all the different exhibits and walk through The Village of Yesteryear. I love seeing people still trying to perfect crafts that have almost been forgotten, like basket weaving or rag doll making. The petting zoo is one of my all time favorites, while the rabbit barn comes in at close second.  Who knew there were so many different species of rabbit?

Though I've cherished all of my trips to the fair, this year just happens to be extra special.  Cameron, the fiance, and I have decided to get our engagement pictures taken at the fair. Last year, we had one of our most special dates and the fair and we thought it would be a great spot to capture some of those corny, yet necessary, photos.

I'm very excited!  Our super talented friend, Ross Davidson, is taking them, and I cannot wait to see how they turn out. Plus, the theme for the fair this year is Love-A-Fair.  Cheesy, right? But, I can't help myself from wanting to buy a t-shirt.

What are some of your favorite fair memories?

Love, Alli