Dear Brother

violet d'art

You have always been there for me.

I remember when I was five and you were ten and we were expected to eat asparagus soup. When we were alone, you disappeared with your full bowl and you came back with it empty. You grabbed me by the hand and we snuck through the halls of our great grandmother's condo like foreign spies. We found the bathroom, you took my bowl, and poured the green liquid into the toilet and tried to flush it. Even though the toilet almost overflowed, you saved me from having to eat asparagus soup.

I remember in third grade, all of the eighth grade girls called me "Bert's little sister". Until my senior year, that was a common name I went by, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed it. I liked it when people associated me with you. It made me proud. When I went to college, I was sad there was no one there to call me by it.

I remember in tenth grade when I didn't feel very pretty and I sat in your car, in your friend's driveway crying. I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world and I wasn't too excited about living in it. Not only did you encourage me by telling me all the wonderful things you thought of me, but reminded me that I'm a princess, a daughter of the Most High.

I remember senior year when I had bruised nails during the Nutcracker. You sat with me, and helped me wrap my feet, and let me cry on your shoulder when the pain was too much. Somebody said you were neglecting your backstage duties, but you said taking care of your sister was more important.

I remember that Summer we lived at the beach, just the two of us. It had been a rough year and I wasn't sure where life was going. I wasn't excited about the upcoming year either, and I was scared. Watching you care for those kids' hearts that we were ministering to, after your own heart had been broken, inspired me. You are so strong. You reminded me that life is full of seasons. That particular Summer is one of my favorite seasons.

I remember you driving to Raleigh every week to have dinner with me. You'd have three, twenty page papers to write and eight books to read, but you still wanted to have dinner. We talked about everything. What was going right, what was going wrong, and what we hoped for. Our chatter flowed seamlessly and we spoke to one another like the old friends we had become.

I remember when you brought home this new girl. I was nervous because I knew you loved her, and I had hated every other girl you brought home. I didn't want to hate this one. Once I saw the way you looked at one another, my nerves settled. It was as if you'd known each other for centuries. She was wonderful, and I was happy for you.

These aren't all my memories of you; they would take up several volumes. They don't end here, either. I cannot wait to see what the future brings for you, your beautiful wife, and us all. I'm excited to learn our new roles, and see where we go from here. This isn't the end of the road for us, but a new chapter.

I love you big brother, and I am so proud to be "Bert's little sister." I wouldn't have it any other way. Happy wedding day.

Love, Alli

A Little Brag

magalerie

Cameron and I and my sweet mother are in the midst of trying to plan the tiny details of a wedding. There are so many intricacies, I'm scared that something will fall through the cracks. One of these intricacies is the ever-so popular wedding website. This has been on our to-do list for months, and we're finally getting around to it. Cameron and I split up the writing responsibilities, I took the proposal, and he took how we met.

Last night, Cameron finished his section. I sat down to read what he wrote and I finished it in tears. Happy tears, of course. So, I thought I'd take a little time today to brag and show you what my fiance wrote. I warn you, he may just be the best fiance in the world.

Love, Alli

How We Met by Cameron

I’m not really sure where to begin this story, or really even how.  You see, looking back at how Allison and my relationship began is a time filled with almost unequivocal joy and light, that its difficult to look at it without putting on some shades and gently explaining for you, the audience, who can’t really understand our feelings without me expressing it for you in words, or if you were in front of me, with gestures and signs. So, please enjoy the story, and thanks for taking the time to read it.

As fate would have it, Allison and I went to N.C. State together. We both studied Literature, and as such, were bound to find each other out at some point. We first had a Renaissance History class together the spring semester of our freshman year. She was the quiet, too pretty one who was interested in some dude in the class and as such, I kept to myself. But I did see that she was beautiful and delicate – a sort of Petrarchan beauty that is so close at hand but the idea of her beauty kept me miles away.

We didn’t meet again for another 2 years. I’m not sure what happened in those between times. Probably a lot of mistakes and missteps while Allison grew in beauty and goodness while I pined away trying to find that right girl to call Mrs. Winter.

But I digress.

As the Lord would have it, we managed to have two classes together that fateful semester – Advanced Fiction Writing and Literature of Utopias and Dystopias. In between classes, Allison and I had a gap of about 2 hours between the two classes, in which time Mollie, a bridesmaid of Allison’s and Allison, would hang out in Caldwell Lounge. I would go there too, but not with them. I would work on projects or homework, and would hear them chat sometimes, but it took several weeks for me to get up the courage to go and sit with them. The thing that helped was that Mollie was there. I didn’t know Mollie at all, but I figured that there being 3 people would make it less creeper-ish, so I totally used Mollie (sorry Mollie, just being honest) to talk to Allison.

Then we began going to coffee shops between classes and found we sort of have the same group of friends. I started going to Community Groups and what-do-you-know Allison was there. (That I must point out was unintentional, but favorable to my aims at wooing this beautiful Godly woman)

So Allison and I got to know each other better and better. We would talk about things like The Fantastic Mr. Fox or her brother or Jesus or our faith. We just started to bond. It was great.

One night I got up the courage and decided I wanted to ask Allison on a date.

Just a note to you guys: this is like my favorite story

So, I knew The Scottish Play was going on at the University Theater and asked Allison if she was going. Being the good theater girl she is, she affirmed and I asked if she wanted to get dinner. No problems, she thought we were just good friends, so she said yes.

The next night we went to Mitch’s Tavern and ate dinner before we walked to the play. However, Allison didn’t suspect it was a date until I said, “This’ll be on one check” to the waiter. I didn’t know how to read her face. She looked happy and scared. She had never had a boyfriend before, how else was I supposed to get a date out of this girl!?

Well things went well after that. Actually, not immediately…

She told me ‘no’ essentially 3 times before we sat down and decided we wanted to date. But it was good. It made me want to pursue her even stronger. I wanted Allison, I needed Allison and I knew then, that I loved Allison.

And, I won’t lie, pursuing Allison really taught me something about Jesus. I knew she was a keeper. I knew she wasn’t just any Christian girl. I knew she wasn’t just some silly Southern ballerina. I had to hold in my heart constantly the reminder that she is a child of God, loved by the Father and held in his arms by the death of His Son.

This wasn’t just a girl I was trying to love – this was a real angel.

And I didn’t think magic could happen!

Throughout my pursuit of Allison, I knew that things wouldn’t be perfect or even easy. We’ve had good times and bad. We’ve gone through struggles and times of ease. But, what made it incredible was always imagining Allison as my mission field where I would be able to tangibly love someone as Christ loves us.

And one thing I want to tell you all who have read this far, my love for Allison has never, nor will ever be based in her looks or talents or intelligence or grace, but will be based in the love that Jesus has for her. I have to recognize that my love was not from me, but from Jesus, who loved us first. I want to leave you with this verse about how I want to care for Allison. If you see the gospel in this, I pray that you would accept it as truth for you too, because this is the love that is promised for us in Jesus!

Ephesians 5:25-33

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Renewing Old Passions

Clancy's Classics

Until about two years ago, I danced just about every day since I was three. I stopped for several reasons. I told myself it was because I no longer had the time, but I really think it was because I was embarrassed. I was ashamed that I had been studying this art form for seventeen years and I really wasn't that good. Besides, what would I do with ballet in the "real world" anyways?

Immediately I missed it. Instead of admitting this, I avoided ballet at all costs. My desire to see the North Carolina Ballet perform dissolved and, around Christmas, whenever a selection from The Nutcracker came on the radio I hurriedly yelled, "CHANGE" to whomever was closest to the knobs. I would also scoff at ballet studios whenever I drove past them with a smug, "psh." I was better than that now, right?

Well, not only have I not danced in two years, I really haven't exercised at all. In January I decided it was time for me to join a gym, and a month and a half later, I finally did. There is a very nice Y close to my home where all my friends go; I figured I could get my sweat on and socialize at the same time with a nice Zumba class or something.

The afternoon I registered, I studied their group class schedule. It boasted of a new ballet class. At first, my trained eyes skipped over "ballet" and I moved on to see what times Yoga and pilates were held. No matter how hard I tried, though, I couldn't stop thinking about the ballet class and how much I really wanted to go.

I tried to convince myself otherwise, but I finally caved. I dug my dirty ballet slippers out from the bottom of my dance bag, pulled on some tights, and went.

It was wonderful! At first I was nervous, but once I stopped over thinking everything, I really enjoyed it. I was nice to feel graceful and beautiful and to wear pink slippers again. Instead of trying to win the approval of my teacher or trying to show off so I could land that big part, like I used to, I just enjoyed. The fluid motions were relaxing and the elegant poses boosted my self confidence.

I can't wait to go again.

What were you once passionate about that you had to give up for one reason or another? Would you ever consider doing it again? What are some of your stories of a successful renewing of an old passion?

Love, Alli

Exciting News!

Chez Jolly
Though our new place looks nothing like a chic Parisian apartment, I'm still extremely excited.

Happy Friday, dear friends!

How was your week? Though mine was filled with gloomy weather and sitting in front of a computer screen, it was still pretty wonderful! This past Wednesday, Cameron and I found where we're going to live once we're married!

I wish I had something profoundly poetic to say about this physical location representing the new adventure of marriage we are about to enter in to, but I don't. I'm just excited. I'm just purely excited and had to share it with you all!

I hope to update your more on wedding-plans and gathering nick-nacks for the apartment and such, but for now I'll leave you with Mr. Edward Sharpe and his Magnetic Zeros.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Love, Alli

Loving and Diligence

A Bursting Smile

It's a new year, and similar to the BFF Alli, I too find myself falling into that "new year rut." Even though I've already established my unofficial New Year's Resolution, it's hard to remember that we are made new by the Creator, and not by our own efforts to be better. This is a relief to me, but I also know we are called to be diligent, to work toward the Kingdom, to make life's little moments count and to do all for the glory of God. Even when we fail, we know that we are being sanctified, being made one degree of glory to the next in His image! What hope we have in Christ! I'm trying to remember that it all counts; I am given each breath to praise Him for what He's done, and for the many blessings I've received. To learn more about thankfulness and the language of gratitude, I highly recommend getting to know this woman's heart.

So when I find myself feeling the weight of the new year, I take a look at what He's laying before me, and celebrate the little things. Two most important on my mind:


My Home
working part-time has been hard for me. I've found myself feeling lazy or guilty when I don't do everything perfectly. But a friend recently encouraged me by reminding me that I am in a new chapter of my life, it's okay to give yourself a break. I'm learning how to be a wife, how to live as a college grad, how to live with other things going on that make relationships really difficult. I'm figuring out who I am all over again. And thankfully, I have friends who point me to Christ to do that. Now that I decided to go into this new year without being hard on myself for things out of my control, I'm more excited about tackling the little things. I'm excited about planning meals better, saving better, being a supportive wife, friend, daughter, sister, and Christian. I'm excited that my home is becoming a place where I feel encouraged, inspired, and loved.


My New Discovery
I never thought I would say this, but I've discovered a new desire and I'm really excited about what the future holds. Being a lover of literature, I always assumed I wanted to be an editor of sorts. Even when I had some semi-important doors opening among a prestigious literary magazine, I became apathetic. I wasn't feeling passionate about the work; and to be quite honest with you, I became increasingly disheartened by those around me who so clearly loved that world much more than I think I ever could. I didn't feel like I was enough. It wasn't for me, and it really shocks me to say that.

Around Christmas break (I know.. talk about NEW discovery) I had a thought and this thought grew into an intrigue, and this intrigue grew into a "what if" and this what if grew into a "do I want this" and that "do I want this" turned into a desire... For the next few months, I am applying to get my masters in Library and Information Sciences to become a Children's Librarian. I've been researching and praying, and to be honest with you, I don't know if this desire will turn into a reality. I am applying to an online program for when I move to Houston in June, but the thought of it is thrilling. I am only applying to one program as of right now, so if the Lord wants it, it will happen. If He doesn't, it's not the right time or the right path for me. I've been encouraged by several amazing librarians.. especially Sarah. I'm so excited to start volunteering at Wiley Elementary School and the Cameron Village Library. I'm taking each small hurdle of this application and learning process one day at a time, and I'm loving it.

Join me when the going gets tough. What small hurdles are you making, and are you letting yourself enjoy those hard but rewarding moments this new year? Are you making it count? It's not easy friends and I am constantly failing at this, but you can be sure of this: He is the potter - the Creator. And we are pliable in His hands!

Love, Mollie

More New Family

Vintage Photo Gallery

This past Wednesday I acquired even more new family!

My big brother, who just happens to be the best big brother in the world, proposed to his sweetheart and she said yes. He set out candles around 6:00 in the morning, they're both early risers, and asked for her hand in downtown Manteo next to the lighthouse. Afterwards, his family and her family came together to celebrate.

It was the first time we were all meeting one another and I was a little nervous. However, from the moment we arrived, my soon to be sister-in-law's family was just as welcoming and cheerful as they could be. We had fun eating some of our favorite foods and sharing photo albums of my big bro when he was young and even walked through downtown Manteo to see where it all happened.

Today is my parents thirty-fourth wedding anniversary. I'm sure when they were first engaged they had no idea where life would take them. I'm sure they never would have guessed they'd end up with a little boy and a little girl who would get married a month a part from one another. I know that they are beyond excited for the two of us, and I can't help but wonder what lies ahead for my brother, his fiancee, Cameron and I. I'm sure we'd never be able to guess in a million years.

My big brother and I had broken arms the same month, we had chicken pox together, we graduated on the same day, and now we're engaged at the same time. I can't believe that I get to share such a special time with my brother and I cannot wait for his wedding day.

Best wishes, big brother!

Love, Alli

My New Family

jessamae photography

When growing up as a little girl, you like to dream about the future. Along with what career you'll choose and your kids' names, your thoughts eventually turn to wondering about who you will marry and what he will be like. Occasionally, however, you do wonder about his family. Will he have any brothers or sisters? What color will his mom's hair be? Will his dad have any hobbies like smoking cigars or playing golf? Will they even like me?

The last question is what concerned me the most. Throughout my life, I've heard horror stories concerning in-laws. Hundreds of movies plots are driven by their despicable acts and I've heard of friends who know friends whose lives were destroyed by these new family members. Connecting with my husband to be's family wasn't something I thought possible.

Cameron's family proved me wrong. I've grown closer with his family and younger sister over these past months, but this past weekend reminded me just how lucky I am.

To make things easier, Cameron and I decided to spend the holidays apart since we'll have to be diving them between our respective families for the rest of our lives. So, this past weekend we visited his family so I could spend "Christmas" with them.

We had a weekend full of mall shopping and coffee drinking and present giving. We also visited McAdenville, or Christmastown USA, and oohed and aahed at all the beautiful, twinkling lights. We got to watch children tackle Santa Clause and families going from house to house singing carols. It was magical.

I'm thankful for my inlaws. It's been great being accepted as one of their own and welcomed to the family. They've made me feel at ease throughout Cameron and I's relationship and have told him numerous times that they think I'm great. What a special gift! I cannot wait to see what the years will add to my relationship with my fiance's family. I'm sure we'll have some unforgettable experiences.

What are some special memories you've made with your in-laws? I'd love to hear.

Love, Alli